I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is one of the most significant musicals ever made. It’s also one of my mom’s favorite movies. It proved that even manly men could sing and dance. It’s about a man who seeks a wife in a local town, because he wants someone who can teach his six brothers some manners. Each brother has an alphabetical name and is named after someone in the Bible. So it will help to keep track of their names. Later in the movie, the six younger brothers court (kidnap) six women in the town so that they can marry them. Which leads to several crazy antics. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers is a fun classic. Not too serious, and just the right amount of heart.

Wrong on So Many Levels

If a pervert was a movie, It would be Milk Money. It’s premise is so messed up that I can’t imagine how it was even made in the first place. Basically, Milk Money is about a group of wide eyed kids who want to pay a woman $100 in milk money just so she’ll take her clothes off for them. Don’t worry it gets worse. The hooker in question ends up getting into trouble and stays at one of the kids houses. Which leads to a romance between the boy’s father and the hooker. Movies like Pretty Woman have done the “hooker with a heart of gold” premise much better. Involving children is just wrong. Even worse when you’re trying to make it a family film. Still, call me crazy, but I didn’t totally hate the movie. Even bad movies like this can hold my attention until the end. Milk Money just shouldn’t have been made in the first place. Just take a health class instead.

Third Times the Charm

Trilogy of Terror is a made for TV movie about a trio of horror stories. All of which star the same actress in different roles. Of course I wasn’t born in the 70’s, but I am aware of how big this movie got when it first aired. Although I would recommend just watching the third story. Which is the only story that anyone remembers. But I’m getting ahead of myself. The first story is titled “Julie.” Something about a teacher seducing her students or something. Kinda forgettable. The second story is titled “Millicent and Therese.” Something about a woman with split personalities. A bit more interesting, but still forgettable. Really it’s the third story titled “Amelia” that anyone cares about. It’s a single character story about a woman who purchases something called a Zuni doll (for some reason). Things take a unexpected turn when the doll comes to life and tries to kill her. I love the living doll premise. Though it’s hard to say whether the doll is scary or funny. It’s the noise it makes. So if you get your hands on this movie, skip the first two and just watch the third.

Screw You, MPAA!

This Film is Not Yet Rated is a documentary about the MPAA (Motion Picture Association of America). Just to clarify, the MPAA are the people who are responsible for giving movies in America their rating. More on them later. This Film is Not Yet Rated focuses on the way the board rates the films it views. Including, how it handles sex, violence, and language. In the documentary, a man hires a private investigator to seek out the identities of the ratings board. Now I’ve never liked the MPAA. I think it’s a very flawed system. This film just confirmed why I don’t like them. Many movies have been given the NC-17 rating in the past or present. All they have to do is edit the movie a tiny bit before they can obtain an R rating. That’s what really annoys me. Movies that really should be “no children allowed” are allowing children to view them. It’s come to a point where artistic vision is ruined, because filmmakers are so afraid of getting a certain rating. Some PG-13 movies I’ve seen should have been R or even PG. Then even worse, there are movies that should be G, but they throw in one inaudible curse word and all of a sudden it’s “not suitable for children.” If it were up to me, I’d say that they should add a few new ratings. Like one between PG and PG-13, and one between PG-13 and R. For once I’d like to go to an R rated movie without worrying if there’s a kid in the theater or not. If you’re in any way interested in the goings on of the MPAA, then give this documentary a watch. Warning Mature Content!

The Body

Stand By Me is both a great song and a great movie. It’s a coming-of-age film about four friends who set out in search of a dead body. I’ll bet you didn’t know it was a Stephen King story. The original title of the novella was actually The Body. They changed the title because they thought it sounded like either an adult film or a workout video. Unlike most people my age, I didn’t see Stand By Me as a kid. It’s defiantly one of the most realistic portrayals of kids in a movie. They swear, bond, talk about random things, and react like anyone else would when they see the body in question. In the end, Stand By Me teaches a very important life lesson. Friendships may not always last forever, but memories will.

Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

Cats Don’t Dance is pure purrfection. Like many other non-disney movies, Cats Don’t Dance is great but underrated. It’s about the movie industry. Told from the perspective of anthropomorphic animals. It’s an odd movie for sure. I mean, the villain is an evil version of Shirley Temple. The songs are catchy, especially the end song “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.” I first saw the movie when I was really young, but it didn’t really stick. I figured I didn’t like it. So I saw it many years later and I loved it. In case you’ve never heard of Cats Don’t Dance, give it a watch. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Spread a Little Happiness

Pay it Forward is the kind of movie that should be bad, but isn’t. Mostly because there are two oscar winners and a nominee starting in the movie. Without the excellent performances of Kevin Spacey, Helen Hunt, and especially Haley Joel Osment. Pay it Forward would have been a sappy mess. The story focuses on a kid that comes up with the idea of paying it forward. He later becomes surprised by just how big it ends up getting. As a movie, Pay it Forward is mostly okay. Although the ending is a little forced and unrealistic. Spoiler Alert! Haley Joel Osment’s character ends up dying immediately after giving an interview on how much his idea took off. I get what they’re going for there, but it seems unnecessarily sad. All in all, I would say that Pay it Forward isn’t great, but it is worth watching.

Shakespeare in High School

10 Things I Hate About You may seem like a typical high school romance, but it’s not. Many people probably don’t realize that it’s actually a modern retelling of William Shakespeare’s play The Taming of the Shrew. Which unlike other Shakespeare tales, I’m not to familiar with. The basic gist of that story is that a man attempts to “tame” his shrewish wife, meanwhile two men compete over the wife’s more desirable younger sister. Instead of taking place in 16th century Italy, it takes place in a 20th century High School. Instead of being about courting, it’s about dating. Oh yeah, it’s also much less misogynistic. The romance in 10 Things I Hate About You (especially the poem in which the movie is named after) is very heartfelt. They make lots of references to Shakespeare’s work, and it can be quite funny. It’s defiantly one of the best romance or teen movies from the 90’s. R.I.P. Heath Ledger.

I’m also in Love with Mary

There’s Something About Mary is gross and icky, but it’s so darn funny. There’s Something About Mary is about a loser who gets to go to prom with the most perfect girl in school, Mary. Until something, uh… unfortunate (but hilarious) happens to him. Years later, he decides to hire an investigator to track Mary down so that he can reconnect with her. Then things take an even funnier turn when the investigator falls in love with Mary. Which leads to another guy whose in love with Mary. Then another, and another, and another. You get the point, Mary’s perfect. There are so many gross scenes in the movie that only the Farrelly Brothers can make funny. I won’t give them away, just in case you haven’t seen the movie yet. There’s Something About Mary may be icky, but it’s also a charming movie that I defiantly recommend.

Hey Bud, What’s your Problem?

Fast Times at Ridgemont High, the movie that revolutionized the edgy teen comedy. First, I’ll say that the only reason anybody knows about this movie is because of the famous nude scene with Phoebe Cates. You know the one I’m talking about. It’s been considered the greatest nude scene in film in history. But there is more I can talk about. There’s also the great surfer/ stoner Spicoli. Sean Penn gives a hilarious performance as the aforementioned slacker. Aside from the those two things, Fast Times at Ridgemont High might have been forgotten. The other plots in the movie delve into teenage experiences, such as having a job or virginity. Other things that happen are a bit offensive. So like I said, I think Sean Penn and Phoebe Cates are the only reason to watch the movie. Watch it and see for yourself.