Tasteless

Ironic that a movie about food can be so tasteless. Obviously I’m talking about Sausage Party. Warning, this movie contains strong adult content. Well that probably didn’t stop some moronic parents from taking their children to see it. It may be animated, but its Rated R for crying out loud!!! Adults only! But enough about that. When I first heard about this movie I thought, really. There hasn’t been a successful R Rated animated movie since South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut. How is this supposed to work in a market saturated with animated movies that cater to both kids and adults. However, once I found out that the movie was about living food I was a little curious. Then I saw the “red band trailer” and everything became clear. So is it any good? Well yes and no. While I do get the cleverness of the story and I did get a few chuckles out of it. It’s just not my kind of movie. Seth Rogen’s brand of highly offensive, disgusting, goes to far humor is just too much for me to enjoy it. Don’t get me wrong, I do laugh at raunchy humor. It’s just the offensive stuff that I can’t get past. I would not recommend this to anyone and I can not stress this enough, NOT FOR CHILDREN!!!

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The food discovers a shocking secret

Nutsy Cuckoo

You’d have to be crazy not to like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest. It’s one of those “out of the box” Best Picture winners. It’s one of only three movies to ever win the Big Five which is Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Actress, and Best Screenplay. So what makes the movie so special you may ask. Well One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is set in a mental hospital and centers on a man who chooses to go there instead of prison. The only problem is the atmosphere which he decides to liven up. The most boasts some incredible performances from Jack Nicholson and Brad Dourif. But especially Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched. Who gives a chillingly evil performance as one of cinemas most unlikable characters. At its heart One Flew Over Cuckoo’s Nest is a remarkable movie about the human spirit.

Mac (left) shares a stick of gum with Chief (right)

Are You Not Entertained?

Gladiator is groundbreaking. Interesting story about the movie. I didn’t see the movie until I was about 19, but I felt like I saw the movie thirty times already. The reason being that my mom was a big fan of Russell Crowe. So she used to have the movie on all the time. However after seeing the movie beginning to end, it all came together. “Sword and Sandal” movies were not popular at the time Gladiator was released. After the overwhelmingly positive response, “Sword and Sandal” came back in a big way. Gladiator succeeds with devoted performances and spectacular action sequences. It will probably make you want to learn more about the time period. A high recommendation, especially for Oscar season.

Maximus taunts the crowd

Maybe we should Split Up

The Cabin in the Woods is far better than it looks. I definitely thought I was just going to watch an average cliche filled horror movie. Boy was I wrong. The Cabin in the Woods actually takes those cliches and uses them to perfection. SPOILER ALERT! The movie is actually about an underground organization that orchestrates every horror movie scenario. Specifically a group of teens vacationing at a cabin in the woods. Things really start to get good when it turns out that every kind of monster or slasher is being held in this underground organization. You name it, it’s there. Zombie, vampire, werewolf, demon, robot, clown, giant animal, merman, ghost, unicorn, etc. The movie also has the famous nerd king Joss Whedon’s signature brand of humor to balance out the horror. I would strongly recommend this movie to any horror enthusiast.

A group of teenagers realize something is very wrong

I ❤ U

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone! Of course I had to review the 2010 movie Valentine’s Day on Valentine’s Day. In short, this movie is mushy, cheesy, and kinda pointless. Valentine’s Day is the first in a sort of trilogy of movies directed by the late great Garry Marshall. With each movie being a romantic anthology set on a specific Holiday. As well as a whole bunch of paycheck hungry celebrities. Compared to the other movies I’d say Valentine’s Day is the best. However that’s not saying much. I don’t really want to go into every short story in the movie, mostly because all of them blur together and leave barely any impression. I will say that it has just about every romantic scenario in the book. Including: close friends who become a couple, a proposal, the cheating spouse, young love, serious young love, a child with a crush, the causal couple, an old married couple, a coming out story, and mutual attraction. So if you’re looking for a sappy romance then this is the movie for you. Otherwise just take your significant other out for dinner.

Willy (right) gives Felicia (left) a bear for Valentine’s Day

Inconceivable!

The Princess Bride is a fun little fantasy picture. Although I didn’t see the movie as a kid, I still feel like a kid when watching it. The Princess Bride is a perfectly harmless kids movie. While the movie isn’t particularly deep, it doesn’t mean adults can’t still enjoy it. The Princess Bride is different then most fantasy movies, because it’s actually told like a book. A grandfather reads The Princess Bride to his sick grandson. Who reacts to the story as its being read to him. The story takes place in the magical land of Florin. A land filled with fantastic creatures, giants, and pirates. Westley is a farm boy who falls in love with the fair maiden Buttercup by simply saying “As you wish.” When they’re parted, Buttercup becomes a princess bride and Westley becomes the Dread Pirate Roberts. A big highlight of the movie involves a group of outlaws the two encounter. The lovable giant Fezzik, the charming Spaniard Inigo Montoya, and their conniving leader Vizzini. But their love is so strong that not even the dastardly Prince Humperdinck can stop them. The Princess Bride is funny, endlessly quotable, and sincere. The strongest part of the movie would have to be the romance. You really feel the chemistry between the two leads. Not that there isn’t still enough for the boys, the swashbuckling action is enjoyable as well. It’s also directed by Rob Reiner, one of the best. So pop in The Princess Bride and enjoy it if you haven’t already.

Wesley (left) and Buttercup (right) share one final kiss

I Fake Rocked your World

Easy A is an easy winner. It’s also one of Emma Stone’s best performances. Easy A is a loose adaptation of The Scarlet Letter. Which I’ve never read or seen, but I don’t think it really matters. I got the basic gist of the story. It was about a woman forced to wear a scarlet letter “A” because of adultery. The movie Easy A sets things in high school instead of 1638 Boston. It’s about a girl named Olive Penderghast who lies about losing her virginity in order to make herself seem more interesting to her friend. Until the whole school finds out and she embraces the attention by mimicking the scarlet letter. Being a christian, I’m usually bothered by ultra religious antagonists, but the movie handles it well and keeps things light. I’d also like to add that this is Amanda Bynes last movie, which is a plus for me. Easy A is funny, charming, and filled with great moments. Namely the “Pocketful of Sunshine” sequence. Where Olive spends an entire weekend singing the song. Easy A is one of the best teen movies of the 2010’s.

Olive (center) captures everyone’s attention

Just Dance Already!

Flashdance has great songs and hot dance numbers. However, that’s about all I liked about. I found the plot to be kinda annoying and unrealistic. The main character is a steel-mill welder by day, stripper by night for some reason. There isn’t really a whole lot going on for most of the movie aside from a throw away romance and dance numbers. The annoying thing for me was how much the lead complained about wanting to dance. First she says she wants to dance, then she doesn’t want to dance, then she does, then she doesn’t. You get the idea. Really the only reason I’d recommend the movie is for the famous dance scenes and its award winning original songs.

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Alex douses herself with water

I’ll Have What She’s Having

When Harry Met Sally… is perhaps my favorite romantic comedy that I’ve seen. I don’t know why, but I guess I just really connect with the story. It brings up many interesting questions about male/female relations. Growing up I always had many lady friends. Sometimes I was even the only guy in a group of girls and like the movie says, I’ve always considered them in a romantic way at some point. Billy Crystal plays Harry Burns and Meg Ryan plays Sally Albright. Harry is a Billy Crystal type and Sally’s funniest character trait is how she orders food. It’s probably Meg Ryan’s most well known romantic performance. When Harry Met Sally… is interlaced with short segments of older married couples describing how they fell in love. Followed by Harry and Sally meeting for the first time and driving to New York. They don’t really hit it off. Since Harry states that “men and women can never be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.” Whether or not you support this claim is up to you. Many years pass where Harry and Sally bump into each other again and again. Eventually leading to an unlikely friendship. Most people only remember the movie for the diner scene (“I’ll have what she’s having”), but there’s so much more to the story then just that one hilarious scene. Made even funnier when you find out Rob Reiner’s mother is the one saying the iconic line. When Harry Met Sally… is funny, but also quite sweet. You’ll enjoy the characters whether they’re enemies, friends, or lovers. Let’s call the whole thing off.

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Harry (right) uncomfortably listens to Sally (left) faking an orgasam

Give me your Face

Face/Off is everything a fun action movie should be. The interesting thing about the movie is how it uses the body swap premise. Where most body swap movies utilize magic or unexplained forces to explain the swap, Face/Off uses science. The other difference is the fact that the swappers are enemies. Which hadn’t been done before. Originally Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger were supposed to play the leads. While that would have been fun to see, John Travolta and Nicolas Cage are just as good. Both of them are over the top actors and seeing them play each other is a riot to watch. It’s just a really fun movie to watch. Doves aplenty.

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Sean Archer (left) and Castor Troy (right) face off