Descending is More like it

Jupiter Ascending is one of the stupidest movies I’ve ever seen! I felt like I was losing brain cells watching it. Which is such a let down because I had such high hopes for it. Where do I start with this one? When I first heard of this movie I was intrigued. It was a new offering from the Wachowski’s, who at that point were due for a comeback. Unlike their previous efforts, Jupiter Ascending seemed to be marketed more heavily. I actually planned to see the movie in theaters for a while. Or at least I was before Warner Bros decided to pushed it back 7 months. Apparently to fix some of its problems, but you could push the movie back 10 years and it would still suck. So as soon as I found out how bad it was I decided to wait until it came out on DVD. Which was a smart choice. Now as for the story. I could sit here and explain it, but it’s so stupid and over-plotted that it would take up five paragraphs. As for the acting. Nobody looks like they want to be there. Mila Kunis (no offense) is not leading action heroine material and poor Channing Tatum is stuck wearing ridiculous dog ears (don’t ask). However, the real offender is Eddie Redmayne. A man who literally just won an Oscar the previous year. His performance is so bad that it defies all forms of human comprehension. This movie literally can’t do anything right. The only positive thing I’ll say is that the special effects are alright. I mean they have to be if you pushed it back 7 months from its original release date. So long story short, Jupiter Ascending will make your brain hurt. It’s really really bad.

Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Jones falls slowly

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