You Can’t Handle the Truth!

A Few Good Men is one of a few courtroom dramas that I’ve rewatched. I first saw the movie in my Junior government class. I’m so glad I did, but not because I think I’d never see it. I probably would have eventually seen it as part of the Tom Cruise marathon I did. I’d also like to mention that this is 1 of 2 military themed movie’s Demi Moore did in the 90’s. Anyway, what is the plot exactly? Well, A Few Good Men is about a trial that takes place after a military hazing goes wrong. Cruise’s character Lieutenant (junior grade) Daniel Kaffee is hired as the military’s lawyer. The primary witness their up against is Colonel Nathan R. Jessup. A proud Marine colonel that only Jack Nicholson can pull off. Most people only remember the famous quote “You can’t handle the truth!” While the whole movie is building up to that line, it’s the gripping court case and well written dialogue by Aaron Sorkin that drew me in. The back in forth between these two individuals is so intense that I couldn’t help but hang on every word. Sometimes I even consider being a lawyer just so I can outwit somebody like this. Also side note, the movie is only rated R for language. So even if you find courtroom dramas boring, I’m sure Rob Reiner’s A Few Good Men will be the one exception. Can you handle the truth?

maxresdefault

“You can’t handle the truth!”

Perhaps “Okay” Will Be Our “Always”

The Fault in our Stars is super depressing. But what do you expect it’s about cancer. Just about everyone can relate, because just about everyone has experienced cancer or witnessed it happen at some point in their life. I actually discovered the book through alternative means. I didn’t read the book. I actually saw a Dramatic interpretation of the book (long story). After that I had a bit of an interest in seeing the movie in theaters. I even planned to bring a box of tissues, but I think there was too many other movies I wanted to see. So I waited for DVD instead. I won’t give anything away. I’ll just say that someone does die at the end and it’s soul crushingly depressing. Though the first two acts do manage to inject a bit of humor and optimism before it totally rips your heart out. It’s a modern day romance that hits close to home. See it with a Kleenex in hand.

The Fault in Our Stars

Hazel and Augustus have fun in Amsterdam

Needs More God

When I first heard they were going to make an adaptation of the story of Noah, I was happy. Unlike the story of Jesus or the story of Moses, Noah hadn’t been done to a cinematic scale before. There have been imitators like Evan Almighty or 2012, but not the straightforward story in the “Book of Genesis”. Then I found out Russell Crowe was going to star and I was even more optimistic. However after I found out they were going to cut the word God out of the movie I was not pleased. So I and the rest of my family decided not to see it in theaters. Don’t get me wrong, the effects are phenomenal, and they really captured the scale of the the Ark. It’s just, if you’re going to make a christian Bible picture then it’s probably best not to cut out that part of your audience. The reason movies like The Ten Commandments and Ben-Hur worked in the past is because they knew what they were doing and they didn’t apologize for it. Quality and morals are the most important things biblical movies today need to learn. There’s just too much weirdness in Noah.

Noah

Noah opens the Ark

The Power of the Mind

Matilda is another favorite from my childhood. One that was part of my VHS collection. I never read the book, but Matilda is my second favorite Roald Dahl movie. In case you missed out, Matilda is the story of a young girl who loves to read. She lives with her wicked family and goes to school with a wicked principle. What makes Matilda different is the fact that she has telekinetic powers. It’s a very charming, often fun, and heartfelt story. Although I do find it strange that Danny Devito directed, produced, narrated, and starred in it. I guess he was just a big fan of the book. Anyway, I’m sure you’ll enjoy Matilda. It’s a definite recommendation.

Matilda-10-940x460

Matilda uses her powers to levitate milk

Luck of the Irish🍀

Leprechaun is perhaps the silliest horror movie ever made. It’s not scary by any stretch of the imagination. More disgusting at times. Well first I’d like to say that I know I said I wouldn’t do franchise movies. And I know Leprechaun has 5 sequels and a remake (most of which are direct-to-video anyway). Still it’s St. Patrick’s Day and this is pretty much the only movie I can review. Some day I’ll see the crappy sequels, but until then here’s the first movie. Leprechaun is the thinly told story about an evil monster leprechaun trying to take back his pot of gold. Interestingly enough this movie features a before she was famous performance by Jennifer Aniston. Which is one of the only things this movie is remembered for. There’s also a couple of other characters that are just too bizarre to fit in this movie. The leprechaun itself has gone on to become a horror icon. Though not quite to the point of Chucky or any of the other slashers. It’s just a really silly movie that if it was being taken seriously, would probably offend the irish.

Leprechaun

The Leprechaun takes his gold

The Need for Speed

Honestly, I’m not a big fan of Top Gun. I mean it’s a good action movie. The airplane footage is incredible. Especially when you consider that it’s all practical. No special effects whatsoever. Which is impressive for the time. Top Gun just doesn’t register with me like it does with other people. I know everything there is to know about the movie. Ranging from its cheesy quotes like “I feel the need… the need for speed” or “You can be my wingman any time”. As well as the tonguey romance between its lead characters. The song “Take my breath away” having won an Oscar and its not so subtle homoerotic tendencies. I mean why are they playing sweaty volleyball? I guess movies about pilots flying planes are just not for me. I’m still a growing fan of Tom Cruise though. See it if you want, you might get into it more than I did.

Top Gun

“I feel the need, the need for speed”

Followed by: Top Gun: Maverick

Descending is More like it

Jupiter Ascending is one of the stupidest movies I’ve ever seen! I felt like I was losing brain cells watching it. Which is such a let down because I had such high hopes for it. Where do I start with this one? When I first heard of this movie I was intrigued. It was a new offering from the Wachowski’s, who at that point were due for a comeback. Unlike their previous efforts, Jupiter Ascending seemed to be marketed more heavily. I actually planned to see the movie in theaters for a while. Or at least I was before Warner Bros decided to pushed it back 7 months. Apparently to fix some of its problems, but you could push the movie back 10 years and it would still suck. So as soon as I found out how bad it was I decided to wait until it came out on DVD. Which was a smart choice. Now as for the story. I could sit here and explain it, but it’s so stupid and over-plotted that it would take up five paragraphs. As for the acting. Nobody looks like they want to be there. Mila Kunis (no offense) is not leading action heroine material and poor Channing Tatum is stuck wearing ridiculous dog ears (don’t ask). However, the real offender is Eddie Redmayne. A man who literally just won an Oscar the previous year. His performance is so bad that it defies all forms of human comprehension. This movie literally can’t do anything right. The only positive thing I’ll say is that the special effects are alright. I mean they have to be if you pushed it back 7 months from its original release date. So long story short, Jupiter Ascending will make your brain hurt. It’s really really bad.

Jupiter Ascending

Jupiter Jones falls slowly

Hey You Guys!

The Goonies has 80’s written all over it. With the perfect trifecta of Richard Donner directing, Chris Columbus writing, and a story from Steven Spielberg. The Goonies are a group of kids who search for treasure, because their homes are facing foreclosure. They find a treasure map in one of their houses and decide to go looking for it. Little do they know a family of criminals called the Fratelli’s is looking for the same treasure. The treasure in question belongs to a pirate named “One-Eyed” Willy. They go searching in an underground cave full of dangerous booby traps like spikes, rocks, or a deadly piano. Unlike most people my age, I didn’t watch The Goonies as a kid. Which doesn’t matter, because I still loved it. All of the kids have their own memorable quirks that make them very likable. It also becomes a game of before or while they were famous. With such names as Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, and Josh Brolin playing a part. The Goonies consist of: Mikey the sick kid/leader, his athletic older brother Brand, Chunk the fat kid who does the “Truffle Shuffle,” Mouth the obnoxious talker, and Data the quirky inventor. There’s also Brand’s sort of girlfriend Andy and her best friend Stef, two female members who join the group later on. As they face underground horrors, Chunk gets left behind. My personal favorite character would have to be Sloth the lovable deformed giant. He’s truly the heart of the movie. As he spends most of his time with Chunk. The sense of adventure is consistently fun and enjoyable as they make their way to that treasure on a sunken boat. The Goonies will never die, because “Goonies never say die.”

The Goonies

The Goonies look on in fear

I’m Pregnant

I adore Juno. It’s one of my all time favorite movies. For many reasons. First of all, being pro-life I appreciate its handling of teen pregnancy. Second of all, being a writer, I’ve taken a lot of inspiration from the screenplay. In fact, the first screenplay I’ve written is about pregnancy. When you look at the story you might wonder what makes it so special. The reason it’s so special is because of the devoted performances and the delightfully weird writing. Many people will say that “nobody talks like that.” I would agree, but that’s why it’s so unique. The title character Juno is also very unique. She doesn’t really fit into any specific clique. There’s also a lot of good humor, good music, and a good moral. And it’s like super cazh about all of it. So yeah just like totally check it out.

image

Paulie feels Juno’s baby bump

Pants on Fire

Honestly if not for Jim Carrey, Liar Liar would be pretty meh. For those who don’t know, Liar Liar is about a workaholic lawyer father who is unable to lie for one day. This is a problem because lawyers need to stretch the truth in order to win a case. While the premise is intriguing and original, put any other actor in the lead role and it doesn’t work. This was actually the movie that Jim Carrey needed to prove himself (after the mess that was The Cable Guy). The result is an uproariously funny comedy with all the wild overtop acting you’d expect from Jim Carrey. Trust me this is a good one.

liar-liar

Fletcher Reede can’t lie