It’s the End of the World as We Know it

Armageddon is a Michael Bay movie.  So that means three things are mandatory. Explosions, eye candy, and all lose of logic. Armageddon definitely fills the bill. Does that make it a bad film? Well let’s look at the story. Armageddon is about armageddon (duh). More specifically, an asteroid hurtling towards Earth. The main characters are a bunch of oil drillers who get tapped to go into space and drill a hole into the asteroid so that they can detonate a bomb. This begs an obvious question of “wouldn’t it be easier to teach astronauts to be oil drillers than teach oil drillers to be astronauts.” It doesn’t make sense, but that’s not the point. The action and explosions are as loud as can be expected. Unlike most Michael Bay movies, Armageddon actually hits the mark with human emotion. The ending actually manages to be rather emotional. It’s still a dumb movie, but it is watchable.

Oil drillers turned astronauts

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They’re Watching You

The Circle is a mixed bag of ideas that, in my opinion, could have been much better. Now I’m not the kind of guy who reads a book before seeing a movie, but I decided to for this movie. Mostly because I wanted to go see the movie by myself. The Circle, written by Dave Eggers, is the story of a young woman named Mae who gets a position at the prestigious tech company “The Circle.” Where she boosts her social status and works out tech designs. I found the book to be rather interesting (although a bit of a downer). The book is so dense that I figured they’d cut a lot and change things around. Instead the movie manages to keep just about all the dialogue the same, but it does cut out some stuff that I felt was important. In the end, it makes for a very messy movie that probably shouldn’t have been made in the first place. Even with a star-studded cast that includes Emma Watson, Tom Hanks, and John Boyega. It was also sadly Bill Paxton’s final performance. For me, I see The Circle more as a collection of ideas that are more or less likely in the real world. Ideas like full time surveillance are just too much of a scary thought. If you do chose to watch The Circle, see it as a cautionary tale.

Mae (left) works her first day at The Circle

Funny How?

Goodfellas is the most fun gangster movie I’ve seen. I saw it when I was in the middle of a gangster marathon. Goodfellas stands out not only as a great gangster movie, but also as a great Martin Scorsese movie. I think it might be my favorite. It’s filled with his usual style of excessive swearing, bloody murder, and internal monologues. After a while you start to get used to it. Goodfellas tells the true life story of Henry Hill, and his rise and fall as a mobster. To say that this film glamorizes the life of organized criminals is an understatement. Let’s just say, I may never eat egg noodles again. Joe Pesci gives the performance that will define his career (the laughing scene was actually improvised). Despite the subject matter, it’s actually very rewatchable. So don’t be a schnook, give it a watch.

“You’re a funny guy”

Life Moves Pretty Fast

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is my favorite John Hughes movie. Unlike most of his other teen movies, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is focused more on the experience. Even though none of the actors were teens at the time. It’s also a classic that will never get old. It’s got a style all its own that has made its way into cinematic history. Ferris is the kind of teen that everybody loves. His only mission is to have fun. What’s not to love about that? Best remembered by the way he constantly breaks the fourth wall. Memorable scenes include: “Bueller?… Beuller?… Beuller?…”, “Twist and shout”, and “the race back home”. It’s very funny and surprisingly deep at times. You must watch it! Especially if you’re from Chicago.

Ferris (right) and friends appreciate art

9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

9 is not a kids movie. 9 is a PG-13 animated movie about anthropomorphic ragdolls in a post-apocalyptic world. 9 will probably be forgotten, because the movie doesn’t really offer much. 9 is actually based on a much more acclaimed short film. 9 sort of fails to capture what made the short good, which is survival. 9 might have been better if it was silent just like the short. 9 does have some merit though. 9 is definitely frightening and the look of the characters are very unique. 9 at the very least deserves a cult following.

9

Bloody F*ck F*ck, Bugger Sh*t Sh*t

The King’s Speech is just the kind of movie I like to see win Best Picture. An easy movie to watch, with a clear message, that keeps you interested. The King’s Speech is about King George VI (Prince Albert), and his attempt to get rid of his stammer. It’s an easy movie to watch, because they never dwell on politics. Nor do they get deep in the historical aspect of the movie. No, this is about public speaking and a man who needs coaching, because of his stammer. The King’s Speech has a sense of humor and a true feeling of triumph. It’s R rated, but I’d consider it a good family film. If you’ve seen the movie then you know why it’s R rated. So, check it out. I guarantee you’ll be applauding.

King George VI attempts to deliver a speech

*Girlish Laugh*

Amadeus is quite a surprising movie. Back when I was in Middle School, I watched three different musicals in music class. 6th grade I watched Oliver!, 7th grade I watched West Side Story, and 8th grade (you guessed it) I watched Amadeus. Amadeus stands out the most because it’s not a “musical” musical. Amadeus is the story of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, told from the perspective of his rival Antonio Salieri. As it turns out, Mozart had a sense of humor which includes a goofy laugh. If you’re familiar with classical music like I am, then you’ll love hearing it in the movie. Sure the movie is sort of dated, but I don’t see it as a hindrance. It’s still very engrossing.

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart composes another masterpiece

I Will Always Love You

The Bodyguard, also known as the 2 hour music video for “I Will Always Love You”. Most people would say that the soundtrack is more memorable than the movie itself. I would agree. Not that the movie doesn’t offer plenty. I wasn’t fully familiar with Whitney Huston. After she passed away, I decided it was time to watch The Bodyguard. So could see her first acting performance. She tries the best she could in this role, but doesn’t compare to her costar Kevin Costner. I did like the story though. It’s about a famous singer (not much of a stretch) who hires a bodyguard when it seems like her life is in danger. Soon the relationship between the singer and bodyguard blossoms into romance. I’ll definitely give the movie props for having an interracial couple and not making it a problem. In a whole, The Bodyguard is a mixed bag. If you want to know where that song that you can’t get out of your head comes from, then check it out.

Rachel Marron sings ” I Will Always Love You”

Girls Gone Wild

Wild Things is one of the hottest movies ever made. For a while before I saw it, I had no idea what the movie was about. I just knew about the famous lesbian pool scene its known for. When I was old enough, I watched the full movie. Turns out Wild Things is about a guidance counselor who gets accused of sexually harassing two teenage girls. Set in the Miami swamps, the counselor (played by reliable creep Matt Dillon) faces court cases and police investigations. Until (SPOILER ALERT!) it turns out both girls and then a cop were in on it the entire time. It was all just a scheme to get money. It’s actually a lot smarter then it looks on the outside. There are a lot of twists in Wild Things that only make sense when the movie is over. Heck, I didn’t even realize Bill Murray was in the cast. Like I said, the lesbian pool scene is what people will remember it for. Along with an equally hot threesome scene. Neither of which were normal for a mainstream movie at the time. Both Denise Richards and Neve Campbell make the scenes extra steamy. Although Denise Richards is the only one who shows nudity. If you can look past all the sex, then you’d find that Wild Things is a clever yet scandalous movie that is definitely worth watching.

Kelly (left) and Suzie (right) are about to makeout

The Amazing Sidekicks #1

Sky High deserves to be remembered. In an age where superhero movies pop up every 2 seconds, one movie chooses to stand out above the rest. Sky High takes a familiar premise and does something unique with it. The focus is on the behind the scenes everyday life aspect of being a superhero, specifically in high school. Mostly focusing on what it means to be  a sidekick. A boy named Will Stronghold is the son of two prominent superheroes. His Super strong father The Commander and flying mother Jetstream. He attends a superhero school in the sky called Sky High as a freshman. It draws attention, because he doesn’t have any powers. So he’s placed in sidekick class along with other kids who have lame powers. Including glowing, melting, and shapeshifting into a guinea pig. Which results in a fun superhero movie with a lot of heart and humor. As well as some amazing casting choices that elevate it in a way that makes it truly special. They managed to get the likes of Kurt Russell, Linda Carter, and even Bruce Campbell to play a part. So if you haven’t checked it out, I would super strongly recommend it.

The Commander (center) and Jetstream (right) talk to their son Will (left)