All Show and No Substance

Showgirls is sick, offensive, insulting, crude, demoralizing, disgusting, cringeworthy, tacky, and trashy. I think that about says it all, but I’ll say a bit more. Showgirls is easily one of the worst movies ever made. There’s literally nothing genuinely good about it. Almost like director Paul Verhoeven became a parody of himself. In regards to his use of excessive adult content.ย Showgirls tells the story of a woman named Nomi Malone. A drifter who hitchhikes to Las Vegas. What’s her dream, you may ask? Why to become a stripper of course, but that’s not enough for her. She wants to be taken seriously as an exotic dancer. Dancing in a flashy topless volcano show. Which is confusing, considering she could just be a regular dancer and not have to worry about everyone trying to sleep with her. Maybe in some alternate reality this premise works, but it doesn’t here…

Showgirls

Nomi strips

I never watched Saved by the Bell, but I can tell that star Elizabeth Berkley was trying way too hard to shed her good girl image. I mean she is naked way more than she’s clothed. Stripping completely naked, showing every inch of her body, giving lap dances, making out with Gina Gershon, and having awkward spastic pool sex. I’m not sure what kind of actress she was before, but here her acting is unbelievably bad. In Showgirls, every character, especially Nomi, is unlikeable. Trust me, nobody has any redeeming qualities. Nomi overreacts to everything, is always aggressive, and gets away with multiple violent crimes. The only character with any kind of likeability is Nomi’s best friend/ seamstress. And what’s her reward, being brutally beaten and raped. Yeah, screw you Paul Verhoeven! Showgirls takes itself way too seriously at times. The dialogue is all kinds of stupid and delivered very badly. It was also the first NC-17 movie I saw. I discovered its existence when I was about 13. I was curious, but obviously I didn’t watch it until I was older. It’s a good thing it’s NC-17, because it would sicken me if there was even a small possibility that kids went to see it. Luckily though, Showgirls ruined the chance of NC-17 movies being widely released in theaters. It literally swept the Razzie Awards. That’s how bad it is. Winning Worst Picture, Worst Actress & Worst New Star Elizabeth Berkley, Worst Screen Couple for “Any combination of two people (or two body parts!),” Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Original Song. Don’t even get me started on the VH1 version of the movie. With its digital bras & panties, entire scenes missing, and bad overdubbing that doesn’t sound at all like the lead actress. So, if it wasn’t for the plethora of naked women in the movie (Yeah, I can’t turn down naked women, even in a movie this awful), I probably would have never seen Showgirls. I just can’t see it as campy stupidity, there’s just too much about it that makes me angry. Which is why I’ll never understand why some people are trying to call it in any way brilliant or deep. Showgirls is just one big hot mess.

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Nomi licks a pole

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