Lady in the Water is the first unapologetically bad M. Night Shyamalan movie. Unlike anything that came before it, everyone agrees that it’s bad. Lady in the Water was always a source of confusion whenever I heard about it. I literally never understood what the story was. I’ll try my best, but it’s pretty stupid. Lady in the Water stars Paul Giamatti as a landlord who stutters except when he doesn’t. One night he finds a water dwelling Narf named Story, played by a perpetually wet Bryce Dallas Howard. She’s being pursued by a Scrunt, grassy wolves that can only be defeated by a trio of monkeys called Tartutic. Trust me it gets stupider. He has to find the “Author,” who just so happens to be played by Shyamalan himself. Apparently he’s so important that his stories will one day inspire the President to change the world for the better. Oh yeah, the villain also happens to be a movie critic and there’s a giant eagle in there too. Lady in the Water is meant to be a drama, but it ends up being a comedy. How can anybody take a movie that has Narfs and Scrunts in it seriously? If there’s a twist, I’m not sure what it was meant to be. The biggest problem with Lady in the Water however, is what it means for originality. This is why Hollywood doesn’t want to make original movies anymore. They might end up with ridiculously overplotted narcissistic duds like Lady in the Water.