Whoever Wins… We Lose

Alien vs. Predator is the science fiction monster clash fans waited a decade to see. It brings both 20th Century Fox franchises together in one big crossover. By pitting the two vastly different alien creatures against one another. The animalistic Xenomorphs and the technologically advanced Yautja hunters. The Alien quadrilogy lasted from 1979 to 1997. The original was a big game changer and the sequel is one of the best ever made. The follow ups however were less than admirable. The Predator films lasted from 1987 to 1990. The first movie has great action, but the sequel couldn’t recapture it.

So the only logical step was to bring both dying franchises together. Much like another major crossover film that was released just one year prior. The idea for Alien vs. Predator actually originates from a Dark Horse comic. Back when comic book companies used to do all sorts of crazy crossovers. The possibility for a movie only grew when a Xenomorph skull appeared at the end of Predator 2. Despite my age, I was fortunate enough to have seen most of the Alien and Predator movies before the release of the crossover. So I actually saw Alien vs. Predator in theaters. Which I was able to do since the movie got a PG-13 rating for some reason. Even though they’re both very R rated franchises…

Xenomorph vs. Yautja

Alien vs. Predator could’ve had a stellar cast that included Sigourney Weaver and Arnold Schwarzenegger, but instead we’re left with a bland cast of nobodies. Even though the Alien movies were very much steeped in a futuristic outer space setting, AVP brings them to modern day Earth. Which is fine if the movie is non canon, but the inclusion of Lance Henriksen as Charles Bishop Weyland makes it a bit confusing. AVP follows a crew/cast of archaeologists in Antarctica. The only one worth mentioning is Lex. A guide for the team and the sole survivor. She’s no Ripley, but at least she’s the least 2 dimensional of the rest of her crew. Who are frankly just there to be killed off.

Despite dozens of better settings in comics and video games, AVP settles for a pyramid buried beneath the arctic. Predators have apparently been here for thousands of years. They were responsible for building the pyramids and were worshipped as gods. The aliens were bred from willing hosts in order to give predators the ultimate prey to hunt. It’s a ridiculous set up, but I didn’t really care about plot too much when I was a kid. I was only in it for the fighting. My brother and I actually chose sides, since we were both slightly bigger fans of one more than the other. I was team alien and my brother was team predator.

Regardless of the movies quality, that first meeting will always be the best part of any crossover movie. Three predators arrive at the pyramid named Chopper, Celtic, and Scar. An alien kills Chopper and the first showdown officially commences between Celtic and the alien. The fight is awesome well choreographed fan service. Ending with the alien on top. So one alien (now with a grid pattern) killed two predators. Leaving the much more capable predator Scar to fight off the rest. He forms an unusual alliance with Lex, and they both try to kill off the rest of the aliens. Including a queen alien that was forced to lay eggs.

AVP ends with a showdown between Lex, Scar, and the queen. The queen kills Scar, is dragged to the bottom of the ocean, and an elder arrives to collect the predator. The final shot reveals that a chestburster was inside Scar the entire time. Considering a facehugger attached itself to him offscreen. Since an aliens form depends on its host, the chestburster has tusks. Paul W. S. Anderson has a great eye for visuals, but his writing is just as weak as ever. Still, Alien vs. Predator knows action is all anyone cares about.

A Xenomorph sneaks up on Scar

Crossover of: The Alien and Predator franchises & Followed by: Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem