Bots and Kings

Transformers: The Last Knight is when I officially stopped caring. So did audiences, since this is the only box-office bomb in the franchise. Despite Michael Bay insisting that he was done several times, The Last Knight is finally his last time with the “Robots in Disguise.” Hasbro intended to turn their toy line into a cinematic universe, so many ideas were tossed around for future installments. Instead they crammed all their ideas in a blender and called it The Last Knight. I was 22 in 2017 and only saw it in theaters with my brother out of obligation. Age of Extinction characters like Mark Wahlberg as Cade Yeager are still present, but Bay attempted to bring things full circle with Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, and Glenn Morshower returning. None of whom make this 5th installment less unbearable. Shia LaBeouf only gets a picture cameo. I know I criticized Bay clichés before, but this feels like Michael Bay taking himself too seriously. While still feeling immature with his most cringy dialogue to date. Now he’s just ripping off everything from Star Wars to Arthurian legend.

The Last Knight begins like a Thor movie with narration from Anthony Hopkins instead of Optimus Prime. He details one of many plot points that inflate the runtime and never make sense or feel cohesive. After all the talk about knights, they finally gave up by bringing King Arthur into the mix. Played by the exact same actor who played him in Once Upon a Time. Stanley Tucci now plays Merlin and Transformer history is suddenly entwined with the Knights of the Round Table, World War II, and literally every other facet of human history. Every Transformers movie adds another piece of Earth related Cybertronian history, but this is ridiculous. Optimus Prime is adrift searching for his creator. He finds the female Quintessa on Cybertron and she turns him into the villain seen in every major movie in 2017. Some kids enter the ruins of Chicago where they find Bay’s attempt at a tough female character. A kid with a hand made Autobot that contributes almost nothing to the story. Cade tries to save Autobots who are being monitored by a reluctant Lennox and his new military group. He’s living in a junkyard with familiar Autobots like Bumblebee, Hound, Drift, Crosshairs, and even Wheelie who’s once again still alive. The Dinobots are there too, along with another pointless side human.

The military makes a deal with Megatron. With zero explanation for why he’s no longer Galvatron. The CGI still looks polished, but the increased number of Autobots & Decepticons are reminiscent of the problem with Revenge of the Fallen. Megatron teams up with Decepticons that require their own name cards in order to hunt the remaining Autobots. Cade is taken in by a British Autobot karate butler in order to explain the Talisman that attaches itself to his arm. The primary sexy woman is downplayed to the point of being the most forgettable. Since she’s a British professor who’s also taken in by a French Hot Rod making his live-action debut. Now it’s Hopkins who gets the undignified role as a historian who explains the extremely convoluted Transformer history. Long story short, Cade is the chosen one and the professor lady is Merlin’s descendant who can wield a staff McGuffin. I started to care a little when corrupted Optimus returned to fight Bumblebee, but the pointless plot point ends as soon as Bumblebee talks. The climax brings everyone together, Optimus delivers another generic speech, and no longer impressive action ensues. They even throw Unicron into the mix, but who even cares at this point. With explosions galore and painfully annoying aspect ratio changes, Transformers: The Last Knight killed my spark of enjoyment for transforming robots.

Transformers: The Last Knight

Optimus Prime vs. Bumblebee

Preceded by: Transformers: Age of Extinction

4 thoughts on “Bots and Kings

  1. The movie definitely had some interesting ideas with the Arthurian legend, but the film itself was so haphazard and messy that it literally killed the continuum of this series.

    Liked by 1 person

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