Jem and the Holograms is truly outrageous (and not in a good way). I knew almost nothing about the Hasbro cartoon Jem. Until I watched 3 episodes and was immediately drawn to the pastel music video adventures. Jem is the Hannah Montana of her time, but she does not fit a modern setting. Jem is unapologetically 80’s with her big pink hair and MTV style songs. G.I. Joe: Retaliation director Jon M. Chu may claim to be a lifelong fan, but he really misses the mark. It looked exactly like every cliché filled rising band movie ever made as soon as I saw the trailer.
Jem and the Holograms is barely recognizable apart from the colors and outfits. This is the first non-horror Blumhouse movie I’ve seen, but it’s no less horrific. For some reason they use YouTube videos in place of a soundtrack, shoot it with shaky cam, and put way too much emphasis on social media. They actually tricked Jem fans into shooting videos that made it look like they liked this botched version of the character. Jerrica Benton, her sister Kimber, and foster sisters Aja & Shana are all unrecognizable unknowns. Only 80’s icon Molly Ringwald and Juliette Lewis are name actresses.
Lewis for whatever reason plays a gender swapped version of seedy Starlight producer Eric Raymond. Jem’s love interest Rio isn’t already her boyfriend and don’t get me started on Synergy. Instead of a holographic synthesiser, 51N3RG.Y is a small robot connected to an unwanted father related mystery. The Jerrica/Jem alter ego is all wrong with no holograms to back it up. Apart from a few contagious songs, they seriously needed to lighten up with this moody unoriginal mess. Not even a last minute Misfits cameo could keep Jem and the Holograms from selling out.