One Million B.C. is a story one million years in the making. Something I probably wouldn’t have seen if not for its 1966 remake of a similar name. One Million B.C. is just as primitive as the cavemen it features, but there’s no denying how well the creature effects have aged. The story is told in modern day with a group of explorers interpreting what cavemen have chiseled on the walls. That’s about the only substantial dialogue in the movie.
Everything else is cave talk mixed with multiple uses of “Ugh.” Lack of dialogue at least earned One Million B.C. an Academy Award nomination for Best Musical Score. Lon Chaney Jr. isn’t a werewolf, but he is covered in hair. He’s one of the few ugly cavemen, since everyone else is Hollywood pretty. Victor Mature is the handsome caveman Tumak from the savage Rock Tribe. Carole Landis is the beautiful cavewoman Loana from the civilized Shell Tribe.
They become mates who learn from each others people in an effort to unite the tribes. While at the same time avoiding erupting volcanoes and fighting deadly prehistoric animals with sticks and stones. All dinosaurs, mammoths, and prehistoric creatures were achieved with real animals. Elephants are covered in fur and lizards are shot to look bigger than they actually are. The best fight is between a lizard and a baby alligator made to look like a dinosaur. One Million B.C. is an undemanding showcase of what old school Oscar nominated effects were capable of.