If Secret Agents were Guinea Pigs

G-Force is all about a team of elite special agent guinea pigs. It’s one of many movies I regret seeing in theaters. Considering I was 14 at the time, why would I go see something clearly meant for little kids? I guess I thought it would be the next Cats & Dogs. Of course I was equally disappointed with The Revenge of Kitty Galore released only a year later. The CGI used on the animals is literally the only good thing about G-Force. Which makes sense considering the one-off director is a visual effects artist.

The all-star voice cast consisting of Sam Rockwell, Tracy Morgan, Penélope Cruz, Jon Favreau, Nicolas Cage, and Steve Buscemi isn’t enough to save the movie. G-Force are the most bland generic stock secret agents I’ve ever seen. Darwin is the leader without a personality, Blaster is the unfunny comic relief in charge of transportation, and Juarez is the “tough girl” that everyone fauns over. Speckles is their mole cyber intelligence expert with a deep dark secret that you can easily figure out based on his species. Mooch is a mute gadget equipped fly that does recon for the team.

There’s also Zach Galifianakis as their scientist trainor, Will Arnett as the agent sent to take them in, and Bill Nighy as the villain plotting to take over the world. Their mission is to stop an uprising of appliance robots, but this is a Disney movie. So they’re taken to a pet store with even more potty humor and pointless side plots. Hurley is Darwin’s long lost brother who farts around messing things up. Bucky is a hotheaded hamster and there’s also a trio of idiotic mice. Much like Disney, I like to pretend G-Force never happened.

G-Force