I’m Your Friend to the End

Child’s Play (2019) drops the supernatural angle in favor of something more high tech. That’s because Universal for some reason never obtained the rights to the original film. Since every 80’s era horror slasher has had an unnecessary remake by now, Chucky’s time had to come eventually. Despite the original continuity remaining in active development. Child’s Play (2019) is the only film in the franchise I saw in theaters since Seed of Chucky was the last theatrical release in over 15 years. Without the Charles Lee Ray part of the character, Chucky is now an evil robot. Although his reason for malfunctioning and killing is a bit weak. His appearance is also much uglier. Instead of “Good Guys,” Chucky is a “Buddi” doll. An advanced toy that can wirelessly connect to other Kaslan products. Which just ends up giving Chucky more power. The basic set up is the same. Andy’s mother gives him the doll for his birthday. Only Andy is a little old for dolls and Aubrey Plaza doesn’t seem very motherly. Andy is also hearing impaired and he’s given an It style group of friends just because. Mark Hamill is an ok Chucky, but no one can replace Brad Dourif. Chucky’s kills are creative, if a little drawn out. Plus the humor can go a little overboard at times. Since Chucky is already walking and talking, there’s not much of an element of surprise either. That being said, Child’s Play (2019) is still better than most pointless horror remakes that just do the same thing all over again.

Child's Play

Chucky looks over Andy

P.S. Being released the same day as Toy Story 4 can’t be a coincidence.

Remake of: Child’s Play (1988)

Triple Chucky

Cult of Chucky keeps the momentum going, but this time they go right back to comedy. Although not the franchise killing comedy that Seed of Chucky had. After Chucky was shot by Andy at the end of Curse of Chucky, it turns out that he’s not as dead as he seemed. Nica is sadly institutionalized and thus the movie becomes One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest with a killer doll in the background. Meaning Andy has to get to Chucky while avoiding a now human Tiffany. Kyle from Child’s Play 2 may show up as well. Cult of Chucky does manage to be creepy, but the quality of the doll has gotten a lot cheaper looking. That’s probably because of it once again being direct-to-video, but I think there’s another reason. SPOILER ALERT! I think it’s because there are now three Chucky’s! The title may suggest that there’s a cult of people that worship the killer doll, but it actually refers to a literal cult of Chucky’s. Since Chucky has now gained the ability to split his soul into multiple dolls. Classic Chucky, one-armed Chucky with wild hair and a drill, and a short haired Chucky. Cult of Chucky may get silly from time to time, but its dark humor certainly helps more than it hurts.

7. cult of chucky

The cult of Chucky

Preceded by: Curse of Chucky

Childish Things

Curse of Chucky finally brings Chucky back to his horror roots. After Seed of Chucky turned him into a joke, there hadn’t been a Child’s Play movie in nearly a decade. Most people assumed they would have made a remake by this point. Instead they surprised everyone with another sequel and despite being direct-to-video, it turned out really good. Curse of Chucky takes place 9 years later, when a mysterious package winds up in the possession of Nica. A woman in a wheelchair played by Brad Dourif’s daughter Fiona. Her unique characterization and link to Chucky quickly made her one of the series best characters. The package in question obviously contains a “Good Guys” doll. Although it looks brand new, an increase of death slowly makes it obvious that Chucky’s back, and he means business. SPOILER ALERT! Not only is Chucky back, but his stitches are as well. They were hidden under a layer of plastic. While Chucky’s motivation is actually linked to his previous life as Charles Lee Ray. Which ultimately lead to his death. In the end it’s revealed that Tiffany is also still around and helping Chucky take revenge on the people who wronged him. As if that wasn’t enough, Andy finally returns as well. Curse of Chucky is the tense Chucky movie they needed from the start. With plenty of callbacks to keep fans invested.

6. curse of chucky

Alice sleeps with her Chucky doll

Preceded by: Seed of Chucky & Followed by: Cult of Chucky

Get a Load of Chucky

Seed of Chucky uses its already campier tone and takes it way too far. Unlike all other installments, Seed of Chucky is actually directed by its creator, Don Mancini. Which doesn’t seem to be saying much. At the end of Bride of Chucky, Chucky stabbed Tiffany and Chucky was shot. The only piece of them to survive was their surprise offspring. Which turns out to be a gender confused pacifist with the voice of Billy Boyd named Glen (or Glenda?). As if that wasn’t a dumb decision enough, Seed of Chucky suddenly takes place in the “real world.” With movie prop versions of Chucky and Tiffany being brought to life. Their plan this time around is to kidnap actress Jennifer Tilly, impregnate her so that Tiffany and Glen have bodies to possess, meanwhile Chucky plans to possess rapper Redman. I wish I was making this up, but that’s seriously what happens. Despite being killers they also vow to stop killing. Well Tiffany does at least since she’s the somewhat softer one. All the while Chucky kills celebrities like Britney Spears. Chucky used to be a doll of menace. Funny, but still ruthless. Seed of Chucky is easily the most embarrassing chapter in the Child’s Play series.

5. seed of chucky

Chucky and Tiffany have a word with Glen

Preceded by: Bride of Chucky & Followed by: Curse of Chucky

Chucky Gets Lucky

Bride of Chucky drops the “child” part of its title and makes things much more adult. By giving Chucky an equally psychotic bride. My mom actually warned us against watching it for that reason. Since it’s much more bloody and sexual. After Child’s Play 3 failed to keep the franchise going, it was time for a radical change of pace. Bride of Chucky begins one month after Chucky was shredded in an amusement park. His remains are recovered by Tiffany Valentine, who turns out to be Charles Lee Ray’s girlfriend who was never mentioned until this point. Taking obvious cues from Bride of Frankenstein (they even show her watching the movie), Bride of Chucky turns Tiffany into a killer doll as well. As a human, Tiffany seems like nothing more than a criminal’s bimbo girlfriend, but she’s actually more deadly than she looks. As a doll, Tiffany has bleach blonde hair, too much makeup, a white wedding dress, and a black leather jacket. This time around Chucky has a stitched up face. Not a bad look, but it’s a little obvious. Which is what makes Bride of Chucky so different. It’s much more meta. With jokes made about the movie’s themselves and even references to other horror franchises. Jennifer Tilly’s natural soft spoken voice makes her perfect for Tiffany and her banter with Chucky is the best part of the movie. Unfortunately the rest of it is too generic slasher movie. With forgettable teenage protagonists Jade and Jesse. Bride of Chucky makes far better use of its new killer couple.

4. bride of chucky

Chucky and Tiffany go in for the kill

Preceded by: Child’s Play 3 & Followed by: Seed of Chucky

Look Who’s Stalking

Child’s Play 3 takes things to a very unlikely location for a horror movie, military school. Although it was released a year after Child’s Play 2, Child’s Play 3 takes place 8 years later. Chucky is reborn once again after being a mere exploded hunk of plastic. Since his blood entered the machinery. Chucky tracks down a now 16 year old Andy enrolled in military school. Andy is still haunted by the past, but trying to move on and maybe get a girlfriend. So it basically becomes Full Metal Jacket with a killer doll in the background. Not that there isn’t at least one kid in the movie. A black kid named Tyler that Chucky now plans to possess. In some ways it seems like Child’s Play 3 was just made too fast. You can tell that Chucky’s overall design has gotten a lot uglier. Military school is an interesting change of pace, but it defeats the purpose of calling it a slasher movie if the killer uses a gun. While the carnival climax is a bit more fitting, it does seem kind of last minute. Child’s Play 3 is also tragically linked to a horrific true crime story. I would agree that since I was still young at the time, parts of the sequel started to become too much for me. Child’s Play 3 is no laughing matter.

3. child's play 3

Chucky breaks out the shaver

Preceded by: Child’s Play 2 & Followed by: Bride of Chucky

Sorry Jack… Chucky’s Back!

Child’s Play 2 is one of a few genuinely effective slasher movie sequels. Two years after Chucky was burned, dismembered, and shot through the heart, the idiotic PlayPals Company responsible for “Good Guys” have him rebuilt. Thus giving Chucky new life. The events of Child’s Play also negatively affect Andy’s life. His mom is sadly institutionalized and Andy is left in foster care, but he can’t help but to feel like Chucky is not too far behind. Which he is even though no one believes him. Chucky once again plans to swap his soul with Andy, but he might not be so successful this time around. Child’s Play 2 isn’t just the same thing all over again. Chucky is a lot more ruthless and creative in his kills this time. He uses weapons like a classroom yardstick and a knife for a hand. Some of the images in the sequel are just as iconic as the original. Plus the humor has gotten much more over-the-top. Not that it can’t still be a little creepy. Child’s Play 2 also introduces final girl Kyle. Andy’s foster sister who helps him fight back against Chucky. Everything eventually leads to a final confrontation in the “Good Guys” doll making factory. I was still pretty young when I saw the sequel, and even though it’s much more intense, I still watched it just as much as the original. Child’s Play 2 shows that Chucky ain’t playing around.

2. child's play 2

Chucky breaks out the yardstick

Preceded by: Child’s Play & Followed by: Child’s Play 3

Hi I’m Chucky, Wanna Play?

Child’s Play makes dolls even scarier than they already were. By taking the idea of a living doll and making it pure evil. Child’s Play is actually my personal favorite 80’s era slasher movie. As well as my favorite slasher movie killer. Before I even saw the movie, Chucky gave me nightmares. A particular VHS preview first introduced me to the character. Giving me three separate nightmares about him. So I finally decided I needed to confront my fear. My brother and I first watched the movie with our mom. Child’s Play may be R rated, but it’s not so bad that a kid can’t watch it. Child’s Play begins with a psychotic serial killer named Charles Lee Ray aka The Lakeshore Strangler, being chased by the police. When he’s fatally shot he (as one would do) uses voodoo to transport his soul into the closest thing near him. A “Good Guys” doll. A toy with long red hair, freckles, blue eyes, a striped shirt and overalls. Nothing sinister about this doll. Until it ends up in the possession of Andy Barchley. An innocent child living with his mother who wants the doll for his birthday. I first saw Child’s Play when I was about Andy’s age. I was understandably disturbed. Especially at the moment where Chucky first comes to life. Let’s just say, Batteries not included. Although Child’s Play isn’t without a sense of humor. Mostly because of Brad Dourif’s iconic vocal performance as Chucky. The animatronics used on him are especially impressive too. I’ve seen Child’s Play more times than any other slasher movie and it never fails to make me question a still lifeless doll.

1. child's play

“Hi I’m Chucky, wanna play?”

Followed by: Child’s Play 2

Run, Hide, Scream, Pray

Alien: Covenant has the difficult task of continuing the philosophy established in Prometheus and delivering a much more straightforward Alien movie. The prequel was so distant from the quadrilogy that it didn’t seem like a possibility. Then again, Ridley Scott decided to give the fans what they wanted all along. Alien: Covenant was the first movie in the series that I was officially old enough to see. I’m glad considering the uncomfortable amount of graphic violence and shower scene. Alien: Covenant is so bloody that I’d almost call it a slasher film. Set in 2104, a crew/cast of colonizer couples make their way to a new planet on the ship Covenant. Katherine Waterston’s Daniels is probably the closet thing to a worthy Ripley successor. The only other noteworthy crew member is played by Danny McBride. James Franco is also in the movie very briefly, but his scenes are all in online shorts for some reason. While on their mission, the crew stops on a planet they believe to be a paradise. Until one threat after another makes it a nightmare. Yet another species of alien is introduced. When two crew members inhale some kind of spore, a Neomorph bursts out of their mouth and spine. The Neomorph is basically a pointy headed albino Xenomorph. Something that feels like it belongs in a different movie. Speaking of Xenomorph, it turns out the android David is responsible for their creation. Michael Fassbender once again gives the best performance as David and another android named Walter. Two Xenomorphs appear, but they’re still not quite the same as the original. They’re more spider-like. David becomes increasingly sinister and the end is left ambiguous. With the franchise up in the air, Alien: Covenant leaves things on an unsettling note.

ALIEN: COVENANT

The Xenomorph attaches itself to the ship

Preceded by: Prometheus

On Earth, it Won’t Matter

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem is hands down the worst thing to come out of the Alien and Predator franchises. Although I was still pretty young, I wanted to go see the movie since I saw Alien vs. Predator. But while AVP had an overly sanitized PG-13 rating, AVP: R has an overly graphic hard R rating. It’s like they can’t get the tone right. Seeing the red band trailer and offensive tagline (“This Christmas, there will be no peace on Earth”) was enough to turn me off seeing it. My first attempt to watch it ended after 10 minutes. When I finally watched it I realized that was a good decision. AVP: R is practically a slasher film. It’s dark, has no actors you’d recognize, the plot is meaningless, and the violence is too gruesome. When I say it’s dark, I mean you can barely make things out half the time. AVP: R takes place immediately after AVP. The chestburster grows into a Predalien. A hybrid of both creatures. It’s pursued by a predator named Wolf that’s tasked with cleaning up all evidence of Xenomorphs. The setting is Colorado and the only crew/cast is townspeople. There’s something very off about aliens roaming a residential area. Things are taken way too far due to the people caught in the crossfire. A kid is facehugged, a girl’s father is killed in front of her, a love interest dies, and I don’t even want to mention the tasteless hospital scene. In the end, the entire city is nuked leaving only a handful of survivors. Then they try to have a plot by introducing Ms. Yutani. Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem crosses a line that effectively killed the crossover franchise.

12. aliens vs. predator requiem

Wolf faces the Predalien (I think?)

Crossover of: The Alien and Predator franchises & Preceded by: Alien vs. Predator