War of the Gods

Immortals got lost in the onslaught of modern mythology movies. The 2010’s saw multiple movies based on Greek mythology, but 2011 was also the same year Thor came out. Though Immortals made an effort to release on the rare 11/11/11. Immortals is a bit more distinct since it’s based on nothing more than Greek mythology. Director Tarsem Singh simply had the idea to create an action film that resembled a Renaissance painting. Like 300, Immortals is filled with awesome stylized slow motion action. Though it’s definitely more style than substance. Immortals is the first big budget film starring Henry Cavill. Before he was Superman, Cavill took on the role of Greek hero Theseus. Though he doesn’t believe, Theseus is a mortal who finds favor with the gods.

John Hurt seems like a wise old mentor, but he’s secretly Zeus in disguise. Luke Evans is a younger looking Zeus who forbids the gods from interfering in mortal affairs. All gods on Mount Olympus wear ridiculous golden armor. Model Isabel Lucas plays the wise sympathizing Athena, Kellan Lutz plays Poseidon who makes a giant tidal wave, and Daniel Sharman plays Ares who directly interferes by going to war. Though we don’t always know who’s who, Corey Sevier is Apollo and Steve Byers is Heracles. Like Conan the Barbarian, Theseus loses his mother to the villain and becomes enslaved. Mickey Rourke plays King Hyperion based on King Minos who wears a helmet with unintimidating rabbit ears. Hyperion seeks the badass Epirus Bow that can produce arrows made of light. He plans to release the Titans from Mount Tartarus and incite a war with the gods.

Theseus escapes with fellow slaves like the smug Stavros played by Stephen Dorff. Joseph Morgan is an Athenian soldier who betrays his men and ends up mutilated by Hyperion. Immortals is mostly rated R for CGI blood splatter. Freida Pinto is the gorgeous virgin Oracle Phaedra who sees into the future. Like the Sorceress in The Scorpion King, Phaedra strips naked and loses her powers to Theseus. Her relationship with Theseus is about the only accurate part of her myth. Theseus does fight and slay a Minotaur like the myth, but it’s a less impressive giant man wearing a bull helmet. Hyperion also uses a brazen bull as a torture device. When he claims the bow, Hyperion unleashes the Titans. The gods making their last stand is easily the coolest part of a lackluster movie. Immortals should’ve felt a lot more massive than it did.

Olympians vs. Titans