You’re a Lifesaver

Tully is one of the most brutally honest portrayals of motherhood in recent memory. Happy Mother’s Day everyone! Tully is essentially the final chapter in an unintentional trilogy directed by Jason Reitman and written by Diablo Cody. Juno is about a teenager thrust into adulthood, Young Adult is about an adult trying to be a teenager, and Tully is about accepting motherhood. The latter films are more closely connected with an R rating and Charlize Theron as the star. Unlike Young Adult, I knew about Tully when it came out, but I thought it looked too harsh.

Though I prefer heartfelt movies about being a mother, I know it’s not always easy. Cody herself was inspired by her own difficult pregnancy. Even for an action heroine, Theron has never looked so beaten up. Marlo is pregnant for the first half and retains her mom bod after giving birth. Ron Livingston is her hardworking husband Drew who does as much as he can. Sarah is her oldest daughter and Jonah is her only son who has special needs. Something that causes her to blow up at his school.

Marlo is constantly stressed, exhausted, and frequently dreams about a mermaid. Mark Duplass is her rich brother Craig who, along with his wife, offers a new age solution. Mackenzie Davis is the young free-spirited night nanny Tully who forms a believable bond with Marlo. She helps care for baby Mia and helps Marlo become a better wife and mother. I knew there had to be something more to their relationship, so I wasn’t surprised when the twist was revealed. Tully may not be the most pleasant experience, but it does find its footing in the end.

Marlo with her baby

YA

Young Adult is an unpleasant look at someone who refuses to grow up. After their success with Juno, director Jason Reitman and Academy Award winning writer Diablo Cody reunited for the next stage of life. Mavis Gary is a thirtysomething ghost writer of young adult novels. Cody was partially inspired by herself as a grown woman who writes about adolescent characters. Unlike Juno or even Jennifer’s Body, Young Adult isn’t as funny as it could’ve been. Charlize Theron is convincing, but Mavis is far from a good person.

Mavis is a sad lonely alcoholic writing the last book in a cancelled series. J. K. Simmons has a brief voice cameo as her boss. She lives in Minneapolis with her dog, but Mavis returns to her small town of Mercury under false pretenses. Young Adult is like My Best Friend’s Wedding if the main character stooped even lower. Patrick Wilson is her happily married ex Buddy Slade that she tries to get back together with after the birth of his infant daughter. Elizabeth Reaser is Buddy’s cool band playing wife Beth who is genuinely inviting towards Mavis. Despite Buddy’s obliviousness, Mavis is convinced he wants her.

Mavis tries to avoid her parents and cousin, but most of her time is spent with someone she barely remembers. Patton Oswalt is the overweight and nerdy voice of reason Matt Freehauf who was left disabled by bullies in high school. Despite being opposites, Matt and Mavis connect over drinks and even have an unlikely hook up. Aside from Beth, Matt is a genuinely good person who calls Mavis out on her destructive behavior. When Mavis does finally blow up, it’s very uncomfortable to watch. Though it seems like Mavis might change for the better, Matt’s creepily obsessed sister Sandra played by Collette Wolfe tells her she’s better than everyone else in town. Young Adult has a needed message about moving on buried beneath an overly cynical tone.

Mavis Gary signs her own book

Target After Dark

Career Opportunities is every boy’s dream. Being trapped in a building with the hottest girl in school. I knew nothing about Career Opportunities, but I was drawn to it when I kept seeing the clip of Jennifer Connelly riding a coin-operated pony. Turns out marketing used the same clip in order to attract young males. I knew it had to be a John Hughes movie, but apparently he wanted his name removed from it. Career Opportunities is like Ferris Bueller’s Day Off meets Home Alone. Frank Whaley is the far less charismatic Jim Dodge known as the “town liar.” The problem is Jim won’t shut up and can’t hold onto a job.

I can relate to him living at home, but there’s not a whole lot of nuance. He’s a 20 something living with his father, mother, younger brother, and grown up sister. I’m not sure if it’s good product placement, but a majority of the film takes place inside Target®. John Candy makes an uncredited appearance as the store manager who gives Jim a crappy night custodian job. Like Home Alone, Jim seizes the opportunity to goof off, eat whatever he wants, and skate around the store in his underwear. It just so happens, beautiful rich girl Josie McClellan is also trapped there over night. Josie is salacious, but she desperately wants to get away from her controlling father.

Although they’re complete opposites, Josie still ends up wanting to run away with Jim by the end. Josie’s father tries to find his daughter with the town sheriff, but there’s no reason to keep cutting back to Jim’s father eating all night. Since Home Alone literally came out the previous year, Hughes throws in an unnecessary criminal element. Dermot and Kieran Mulroney are a little too serious for this movie. Jim and Josie use their respective skills to outsmart the crooks and get everything they wanted. Career Opportunities doesn’t quite hit the target.

Josie rides a horse

Enchanted Peasant Girl

Mannequin Two: On the Move is a dull and lifeless sequel that doesn’t need to exist. As ridiculous as the first Mannequin is, it was successful enough to warrant a sequel. Even though Emmy became real and lived happily ever after with Jonathan. Instead they create a whole new scenario involving a living mannequin that makes even less sense. Kristy Swanson is the lovely peasant girl Jessie who is cursed by an evil sorcerer for 1,000 years. She happens to look like a mannequin and that mannequin happens to end up at the exact same department store from the first movie.

The only returning characters are the lovesick security guard named Andy and Meshach Taylor given way too much screen time as Hollywood. Yet Hollywood’s pink convertible and flamboyant mannerisms are almost subtle compared to the villains. Bernie himself Terry Kiser is the descendant of the evil sorcerer Count Spretzle. He transports the “Enchanted Peasant Girl” using his overly cartoonish German meathead minions. William Ragsdale is the new lead Jason Williamson who is the reincarnated Prince William.

Cynthia Harris is his queen mother who runs a dating service. Stuart Pankin is his boss who continually makes a fool of himself. Jason unknowingly reunites with his long lost love Jessie. The charm of the first movie is lost when Jessie is just a fish out of water who doesn’t freeze when people see her. She only freezes while wearing an enchanted necklace and it takes characters way too long to figure that out. The ending is seriously overblown, but it ends almost the exact same way with a wedding set to “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now.” Mannequin Two: On the Move should’ve been stopped at all costs.

Jessie comes alive in front of Jason

Preceded by: Mannequin

Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now

Mannequin is all about the love between a man and his mannequin. Somehow it’s not as weird as it sounds. Mannequin was unsurprisingly written off by critics, but its premise is too ridiculous not to have fun with it. It’s practically an honorary Brat Pack film with Andrew McCarthy and James Spader reuniting after Pretty in Pink. McCarthy is struggling artist Jonathan Switcher who can’t hold down a job. He creates a beautiful mannequin who only comes to life for Jonathan when no one else is looking. Kim Cattrall is plenty of fun as Emmy. She’s actually an Ancient Egyptian woman brought to life as a great work of art.

It doesn’t make sense, but the romance between Jonathan and Emmy is taken very seriously. He gets a job at the Prince & Company department store after he rescues Estelle Getty as the kind owner Claire. He keeps the job when Emmy helps him make eye-catching window displays. You know it’s the 80’s when Meshach Taylor plays an incredibly flamboyant gay co-worker named Hollywood. Though it all sounds very low stakes, Mannequin is filled with cartoonish bad guys trying to sabotage Jonathan. Spader is the jealous store manager Mr. Richard. G. W. Bailey is the store’s security guard Felix who tries to catch the mannequin in action.

Carole Davis is Jonathan’s former girlfriend Roxie who works for the competing store Illustra. Steve Vinovich is her scheming boss B.J. and Christopher Maher is her creep co-worker Armand. Despite Jonathan looking crazy a number of times, Emmy eventually becomes a real girl through the power of love. Not only did Mannequin gain a cult following, it was also Oscar nominated for the 80’s power ballad “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” by Starship. I’ll bet you didn’t know that song was referring to a mannequin. Mannequin is a perfect display of the 80’s at their most bonkers.

Jonathan rides with Emmy

Followed by: Mannequin Two: On the Move

Is this You… or are YOU You?

Futureworld is a lot less amusing than it should’ve been. Westworld had a lot of potential for a sequel, but Michael Crichton and MGM weren’t interested. Although Futureworld sounds simple enough, the story is overly complicated. After the mishap at Westworld, Delos has shut down the park, but reopened with 2 new attractions. Medieval World and Roman World are unaffected since they didn’t get most of the media’s attention. Spa World is a strange new addition since it doesn’t really fit the theme. The still in development samurai themed Eastworld makes a lot more sense.

Futureworld is of course the titular new park that has a space theme. There are plenty of interesting attractions like skiing on Mars, holographic chess, robot boxing, and a dream recorder that features a strange erotic dream sequence with Yul Brynner returning as the Gunslinger. We see other characters in different worlds like the first movie, but the sequel drops most of it by the second act. Peter Fonda plays newspaper reporter Chuck and Blythe Danner plays TV reporter Tracy. Not only do they compete for a story, they have a distracting love/hate relationship.

Chuck suspects foul play and uncovers a conspiracy with Tracy’s help. Arthur Hill plays Mr. Duffy who tries to make the park look good. John Ryan plays Dr. Schneider who encourages the use of robots as technicians. Stuart Margolin plays the last trustworthy human Harry. Although Harry is friends with a low-grade robot affectionately named Clark. The final act completely forgets about the parks in favor of a conspiracy thriller involving clones of world leaders. The idea is creepy, but it’s not what made Westworld so good. Though it made leaps in the use of CGI, Futureworld is more dated than anything.

Clark the robot

Preceded by: Westworld

…Where Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong

Westworld is as amusing as it is terrifying. Science fiction author Michael Crichton wrote it as an original screenplay and even directed it himself. It was Crichton’s very first story about an amusement park breaking down. Before there was Jurassic Park, there was Westworld. The 1973 movie is way ahead of its time. Though the title suggests only one amusement park, Delos consists of three distinct time periods including: Roman World, Medieval World, and Western World. Despite inherent danger in every world, they assure guests nothing can possibly go wrong. State of the art lifelike robots are programmed to never harm humans. Safeguards are put in place to avoid accidental gunfire.

Most of the action takes place in Westworld with James Brolin as John and Richard Benjamin as Peter. John is determined to have fun, but Peter is skeptical until he starts to loosen up. Westworld is the ultimate Western fantasy where guests pay $1,000 to shoot gunslingers, stop bank robberies, get into bar fights, and sleep with robot prostitutes. Gene Roddenberry’s wife Majel Barrett plays the bordello owner. Though Westworld is the focus, Norman Bartold is the primary guest of Medieval World who woos the lovely queen and fights a black knight. Roman World is barely seen, but you get the idea. Alan Oppenheimer is the chief supervisor of Delos who overlooks a virus that slowly affects the robots.

Despite malfunctions, the parks remain open until everything goes wrong. Yul Brynner is the face of Westworld who plays a confrontational Gunslinger that Peter shoots on two separate occasions. Until he shoots John and ruthlessly hunts down Peter. His robotic vision is the very first use of digital image processing in film. Although a lot of the early park activities are amusing, the final act is downright terrifying. Robots kill every guest, Delos technicians are powerless to stop, and Peter is left fighting for his life. There’s so much potential for this concept that I’m not surprised it led to a sequel, a short-lived CBS series, and an acclaimed HBO series. Westworld says a lot about how much we’re willing to immerse ourselves in a world that isn’t real.

The Gunslinger starts smoking

Followed by: Futureworld

Red Lectroids from Planet 10

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension exists in its own little world. The movie originated from author Earl Mac Rauch. Screenwriter W. D. Richter read his first book and was determined to direct one of his stories. Rauch kept starting and stopping screenplays about the character Buckaroo Banzai. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai is a science fiction action adventure comedy romance. Buckaroo Banzai himself is a neurosurgeon, a physicist, a martial artist, a test pilot, and a rock star. There are so many great nerd movies from 1984, but I just don’t get the appeal of Buckaroo Banzai. Though it was initially written off by critics, it was destined to have a cult following. A mostly unknown Peter Weller plays the multi-talented Banzai who feels very unassuming. He fights, studies, and sings with a group of allies called “The Hong Kong Cavaliers.”

Jeff Goldblum plays New Jersey who wears a cowboy suit. Lewis Smith plays the bleach blonde Perfect Tommy. Clancy Brown plays gun-toting Rawhide. Pepe Serna plays Reno Nevada, Billy Vera plays Pinky, and Michael Santoro plays Billy Travers. Very few of them stand out. Bill Henderson joins them as pilot Casper Lindley and so does his young son Scooter. Ellen Barkin plays Penny Priddy who he meets at their only gig. It gets confusing when she ends up being the long lost twin of his late wife. Robert Ito is Buckaroo’s Chinese mentor Professor Tohichi Hikita who helps him develop an “overthruster” for his Jet Car. More confusing is the car crossing the titular 8th Dimension that starts an invasion of Red Lectroids from Planet 10. Banzai is the only one who can see the aliens for what they really are.

John Lithgow hams it up as the Italian mad scientist Dr. Lizardo. All the Lectroids are named John for some reason. Lizardo is possessed by Lord John Whorfin who plots to destroy the Earth. Christopher Lloyd is the oddly named Red Lectroid John Bigbooté. Vincent Schiavelli is another Red Lectroid named John O’Connor. Red Lectroids are at odds with Black Lectroids led by Rosalind Cash as John Emdall. A young Carl Lumbly is the Jamaican Black Lectroid John Parker who assists Banzai. The President is also involved. I want to like Buckaroo Banzai, but its tone is so deadpan that I can’t even see it as campy fun. With the exception of a TV series, it does make sense that books, comics, and video games came out of the movie. A sequel was never made despite an awkward promise of one at the end. The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension will only appeal to so many people.

Buckaroo Banzai and the Hong Kong Cavaliers

Not followed by: Buckaroo Banzai Against the World Crime League

500 Years in the Future

Buck Rogers in the 25th Century is a glorified TV pilot for a forgotten series. It’s another late 70’s sci-fi adventure inspired by Star Wars which was inspired by Flash Gordon which was inspired by Buck Rogers. I always find it unfortunate when the founder of a popular concept doesn’t get the recognition it deserves. Buck Rogers is the original space adventurer created by Philip Francis Nowlan as far back as 1929. He first appeared in comic strips before making the leap to comic books, novels, radio, film serials, and television. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century was a TV revival created after the massive success of Star Wars. Despite having a clear TV budget, the pilot was released in theaters. I knew the name Buck Rogers and the parody Duck Dodgers, but never the story.

Buck Rogers was an astronaut from 1987 found frozen aboard his space shuttle Ranger 3 and awakened 500 years in the future. He’s a man out of time adjusting to an Earth that’s been affected by a nuclear holocaust and rebuilt as the futuristic Inner City. Ship designs look almost exactly like X-wings, but space battles are far less impressive. The tone is pretty cheesy with an electronic soundtrack. Gil Gerard is your basic cocky 20th Century man. Captain Rogers’ space suit is a not so colorful white jumpsuit paired with a ray gun. Model Erin Gray plays the female Colonel Wilma Deering of Earth’s military fleet. Despite opposing Rogers, she falls for him very quickly. The villainous Princess Ardala also falls for Rogers immediately. Pamela Hensley wears a variety of revealing outfits.

Ardala commands the Draconia flagship that secretly plots to conquer Earth with pirate ships. Henry Silva is by her side as Kane, but it’s her father Emperor Draco played by a flamboyant Joseph Wiseman who calls the shots despite limited screen time. Along with Colonel Deering, Buck meets Tim O’Connor as Earth defense leader Dr. Elias Huer. His allies are a diminutive robot named Twiki and an advanced computer named Dr. Theopolis. Like R2-D2, Felix Silla is the man in the machine, but Mel Blanc provides his speech between beeps. Buck Rogers seduces the princess, fights the hulking Tigerman, blows up enemy ships, and gets the girl. Defeating the bad guy will just have to wait for the next episode that they’re clearly teasing. Buck Rogers in the 25th Century has some cool ideas, but they should’ve been reserved for TV.

Captain Buck Rogers and Colonel Wilma Deering meet Princess Ardala and Kane

Be Our Guest

Beauty and the Beast (2017) is the first full blown musical live-action Disney remake. Although The Jungle Book (2016) used only its best songs, it can’t really be labeled a musical. Beauty and the Beast (1991) is easily one of the greatest musicals of all time and a beloved part of my childhood. Although Disney originally considered adapting the 1994 Broadway musical, the French fairy tale nearly got the Snow White and the Huntsman treatment instead. Until Dreamgirls and Twilight Saga director Bill Condon insisted on making an old fashioned musical. It was the right decision since Beauty and the Beast (2017) became the highest grossing live-action Disney remake at the time.

I’ll admit the trailer made me nostalgic the moment I heard the classic Alan Menken score. Beauty and the Beast (2017) is the first live-action remake of a movie from the Disney Renaissance. Unlike previous remakes, Beauty and the Beast (2017) makes a lot less changes to the overall story. Yet the hour and a half animated classic was still somehow expanded to over 2 hours. Aside from fixing plot holes, the remake adds additional songs composed by Menken himself. Like Alice in Wonderland (2010) and The Jungle Book (2016), my mom joined my brother and I to see Beauty and the Beast (2017) in theaters. Although there’s no competing with the first animated Best Picture nominee, there’s plenty to admire about this live-action remake…

Belle dances with the Beast

Beauty and the Beast (2017) manages to be just as visually stunning as the original. It was nominated for 2 Oscars including Best Costume Design and Best Production Design. Though it makes use of powdered wigs and old fashioned French architecture, there’s still plenty of color. Once upon a time, there was a Prince that lived in a magnificent French castle. The remake fills time by showing the Beast’s origin rather than using stained glass. Unlike what we saw in Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas, the Prince is a selfish grown man who taxes the kingdom. The beggar woman arrives during a lavish ball and we see him laugh at the Rose she gives him. As she becomes the beautiful Enchantress, the Beast is cursed with the same clawed portrait. This time the curse has lasted for an indeterminate amount of time and we’re given a much needed explanation for why villagers have no memory of their Prince or his enormous castle.

After Aurora and Cinderella, Belle became the next Disney Princess given the live-action treatment. Not only was Emma Watson born in France, she’s already proven herself as a headstrong book worm. After finishing her tenure as Hermione Granger, Beauty and the Beast (2017) became Watson’s most financially successful film since the Harry Potter franchise. Though Watson is a beautiful brunette like Belle, she’s no Paige O’Hara when it comes to vocal range. Her singing voice had to be auto-tuned. She’s still the funny girl in a poor providential town, yet she doesn’t stand out like the original when so many other villagers wear blue. Belle finds her escape through books, but apparently that’s not enough to make her odd. For some reason, Belle is now the family inventor who creates a horse powered laundry barrel. She’s also shunned for teaching a girl how to read.

Since he’s no longer a kooky inventor, Belle’s papa Maurice is a more serious artist who fondly remembers his late wife. It didn’t feel necessary to include an explanation for Belle’s late mother, but Kevin Kline gives a heartfelt performance. Maurice heads off with a music box and promises to bring back a rose just like the original fairy tale. Gaston is still a self-absorbed hunter determined to marry Belle, but now he’s a former member of the French Royal Army. Though he does have rugged good looks, Luke Evans is nowhere near as brawny as the animated Disney villain. His long red coat may be more accurate, but I can’t help but think of Captain Hook. Gaston attempts to woo Belle and propose marriage, but he’s not humiliated like the original. Belle simply rebuffs his advances. Beauty and the Beast (2017) has a bit more diversity than previous live-action Disney remakes. Though none of the main characters are race changed.

Most of the attention was given to Disney’s so-called “first gay character.” Olaf himself Josh Gad plays Gaston’s much more flamboyant sidekick LeFou. LeFou was certainly obsessed with Gaston before, but it was never a Mr. Burns and Smithers relationship. As a result, LeFou is a more sympathetic voice of reason who questions Gaston more often. When Maurice is lost in the woods with Philippe, he’s attacked by CGI wolves. He finds the enchanted castle like the original, but sadly he doesn’t make friends with any of the enchanted objects. Instead he’s frightened by Chip and immediately takes off, but not before plucking a white rose. Only then does he encounter the Beast. Belle rides back to the castle where she finds her father locked in the tower. The Beast reveals himself to have larger horns and a less animalistic design.

Although makeup would’ve worked just as well, motion capture was probably the better option. That way Dan Stevens’ facial performance can still shine through. Though the Beast retains his temper, something about his French mannerisms feels too soft. Except that he doesn’t offer Belle a room when she decides to replace her father. Instead she’s freed by the enchanted objects. As I expected, the enchanted objects are all done with photorealistic CGI. Animals are one thing, but you can’t put a cartoon face on a real life inanimate object. Lumière is a finely crafted candelabra that transforms into a man with a molded French coat and candle sitting atop his head. Although every character attempts a French accent, Ewan McGregor is the only one who needed to maintain the exaggerated accent of Jerry Orbach. Cogsworth is an intricate mantle clock with a similar arrow mustache. I wasn’t expecting the much older Sir Ian McKellen, but he does manage to be funny and dignified.

Lumière and Cogsworth show Belle to her room where we meet a radically different version of the Featherduster and Wardrobe. Lumière’s lover was named Fifi in Belle’s Magical World, but she’s now a swan-like feather duster named Plumette. Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Broadway singer Audra McDonald are the only black actresses who are both in interracial relationships. McDonald is the drowsy opera singing Madame de Garderobe. Her face can only be seen inside the wardrobe as a curtain. She’s separated from her husband Cadenza, an original harpsichord composer played by Stanley Tucci. Mrs. Potts is introduced a lot later than you’d expect. Though she’s still a motherly teapot, her face is now printed on the side. Emma Thompson is a perfectly respectable choice, but she’s no Angela Lansbury. The unknown Nathan Mack plays her teacup son Chip who looks and acts almost exactly the same. The footstool dog Sultan, coat rack, and stove chef are all accounted for.

The enchanted objects have to convince the Beast to invite Belle to dinner while she tries to escape through the window. After Belle is welcomed as a guest, she wanders the west wing where she finds the enchanted rose. I won’t harp on the delivery of every reused line, but so much of it feels off to me. Especially when the Beast orders Belle to get out in an overly rushed tone. Wolves attack her when she runs away and the Beast rescues her just like the original. The only necessary addition is a quick moment that explains how Belle managed to carry the injured Beast back to his castle. Meanwhile, a desperate Maurice returns to town where Gaston actually tries to help him find Belle. They search the woods, but Gaston goes from zero to attempted murder too quickly. Despite minor objection from LeFou, Gaston actually chains Maurice to a tree for the wolves to devour him. He’s saved by the local hag Agathe played by Hattie Morahan.

Back at the castle, Belle tends to the strangely muscular Beast in his bed. Though it doesn’t quite justify cursing the staff along with the Prince, Mrs. Potts tells Belle that they were cursed for allowing the King to turn him into the selfish ruler he became. Like Belle, the Beast also has a mother who passed away. Although I never saw it as Stockholm Syndrome, the remake tries to make their relationship more believable. Unfortunately, the Beast giving Belle his grand library is no longer a romantic gesture. Instead they form a bond by reading to each other and sharing similar feelings of being an outcast. The most unnecessary addition by far is the inclusion of a magical book that can take the Beast anywhere he wants to go. The enchanted mirror is already a window into the outside world, so it feels redundant.

The only purpose it serves is bringing Belle to her childhood home where her mother died from the Plague. It makes sense for the time period, but it’s a little dark for a PG rated Disney film. Belle and the Beast have fun in the snow and the iconic dance is not far behind. Though the dance doesn’t have the romantic build up, it does have Belle’s enchanting yellow dress and the Beast’s fancy blue suit. The ballroom may not be as enormous as the animated version, but their waltz is a highlight of the remake. When Maurice confronts Gaston, the latter makes him look insane and has him institutionalized. Belle sees her father with the enchanted mirror and the Beast barely gives a thought to letting her go. It’s a different approach that leaves no room for Chip as a stowaway. Belle confronts Gaston who convinces the mob that she’s under the Beast’s magic spell.

They ride off to kill the Beast and Belle is locked away with her father. Giving them time to talk about her mother. Without Chip, Belle and her father simply pick the lock. The final fight at the castle isn’t too different. Lumière, Cogsworth, and Mrs. Potts fight back in similar ways. Madame de Garderobe and Cadenza reunite as the former dresses a member of the mob who seems to like the makeover. Unlike the original, LeFou is redeemed when Gaston goes too far. He hunts the Beast in almost the same way. Except that Gaston shoots him in the back instead of stabbing him. Since the curse causes the castle to crumble, Gaston meets his death by falling from an unstable ledge. You’d think the Beast’s death in Belle’s arms would be just as emotional, but the enchanted objects becoming inanimate is a lot more tragic.

Agathe wanders inside the castle and is revealed to be the Enchantress. Belle professes her love and the Beast is revived as the handsome Prince that she kisses. It’s weird seeing every actor in person for the first time, but another welcomed change is giving the servants family members who lost their memory from the village. Mrs. Potts and Chip reunite with Mr. Potts and Cogsworth is reunited with his insufferable wife. Belle and the Prince enjoy one final ballroom dance as they live happily ever after. The seriously overblown “gay moment” that Bill Condon felt the need to announce months in advance, is just LeFou dancing with the wardrobe guy. It’s easily edited out and affects nothing, but the remake was still banned in several countries because of it. Beauty and the Beast (2017) grossed over a billion dollars regardless. Nostalgia helps and I was just happy to sing familiar songs in the theater.

Despite being auto-tuned, “Belle” has some nice choreography, but it doesn’t quite capture the grandness of Belle’s poor provincial town. “Belle” (Reprise) is about the same with a little less passion. “Gaston” is a great Disney villain song that’s a little too butchered with new lyrics. Gad gives it his all and Evans is no slouch, but they end up rambling a lot. The “Mob Song” is also a bit altered to fit LeFou’s character change. “Be Our Guest” is still a fine dining showstopper performed by Lumière with spectacular CGI visuals. “Something There” is almost exactly the same. “Beauty and the Beast” is as magical as its ever been, but Emma Thompson isn’t the best singer for the job. That’s why Audra McDonald takes over as part of the reprise. The signature song was also covered by Ariana Grande and John Legend for the music video.

As for the original songs, I’d be lying if I said they weren’t obvious Oscar bait. There’s a quick “Aria” for the opening ball scene performed by McDonald that I forgot about. “How Does a Moment Last Forever” is a sweet song that Kline performs well. The always exceptional Celine Dion returns to sing a cover during the closing credits. “Days in the Sun” is the new “Human Again” that I’d probably like better in another movie. The songs definitely start to pile up and I reached my breaking point after they gave the Beast his own power ballad after Belle leaves. “Evermore” is technically brilliant, but it just feels like a Broadway number. Save for a few nitpicks, Beauty and the Beast (2017) is one of the better live-action Disney remakes that holds a candle to an already perfect animated masterpiece.

Lumière makes Belle their guest

Live-Action Remake of: Beauty and the Beast (1991)